Intimacy and Emotional Health

What exactly is intimacy, and how does it connect to our emotional health? Intimacy can be described as the “closeness between people in personal relationships [that] builds over time as you connect with someone, grow to care about each other, and feel more and more comfortable during your time together” (Johnson, 2019). Spending this intimate time with another person allows your emotional health to flourish because it alleviates feelings of loneliness and feeds our need for socialization as human beings.

We can find intimacy in many different areas of our lives – romantic relationships, friendships, family, co-workers, self-care, following passions, pursuing hobbies, and more. Moreover, it is important to note that intimacy does not always equal sex or physicality. The definition can be expanded to include “mutual respect for each other’s spirit and autonomy” (“Intimacy and PD”, n.d.).

The Seven Aspects of Intimacy

There are seven pillars of intimacy, which include:

1. Trust
2. Acceptance
3. Honesty
4. Safety
5. Compassion
6. Affection
7. Communication

Courtesy of: https://www.healthline.com/health/intimacy

These pillars are what build intimacy in any type of healthy relationship, and must be consistently met and cultivated over time to have a truly meaningful connection. One of the main ways these pillars are met are through conversation – sharing experiences you’ve been through, both good and bad, the way it made you feel, and then receiving compassion and understanding from the other party.

Opening yourself up and being vulnerable with another person is not an easy task, especially for those who have had their trust broken in the past, so the amount of time it takes to build intimacy with a person will be dependent on the individuals involved and their past experiences.

Intimacy and Parkinson’s Disease

Dealing with Parkinson's disease (PD) can certainly change the intimate dynamics of any type of relationship, especially romantic and sexual ones. It is important to discover new ways to connect and communicate with your significant other to keep the physical and emotional intimacy present. Some tips include:

• Communication: Speak openly and honestly about your feelings with your partner regarding sexuality and intimacy –use your words and not solely rely on nonverbal modes of communication such as look or touch. It is easier for misunderstandings to happen when direct verbal communication is not used because many people with Parkinson’s experience “facial masking”. Facial masking is when “the stiffness and slowness that can impact walking and other activities impacts the muscles in the face of someone with PD” (“Intimacy and PD”, n.d.), which makes it hard to read the facial expressions of an individual and can even be perceived as a lack of interest. Be honest with one another and share any frustrations you have in a respectful and loving manner.
• Words of affirmation: Going hand-in-hand with communication, is consistent positive reinforcement and words of affirmation for your partner regarding the things you love about them. This can also help alleviate feelings of insecurity and stress regarding the physical changes PD may be having on an individual and can also provide emotional comfort.
• Quality time: Everyone has a hectic schedule and life gets busy from time to time. Carving out uninterrupted time to spend with one another is extremely important, even if it’s just watching an episode of a favorite TV show in the evening or enjoying a cup of tea before bed.
• Patience and understanding: The struggles of PD, accompanied with the realities of getting older, means your body won’t look, feel, or respond the way it did when you were younger. Depending on the way you deal with this, it can bring you closer to your partner or be a cause of immense emotional stress and distance. It may be helpful to place your focus on enjoying each other and being comfortable, as opposed to performance (“Intimacy and PD”, n.d.). Think about your bond prior to Parkinson’s, and be patient with one another as you learn to navigate the physical and emotional challenges of intimacy together.
• Asking for help: Sexual dysfunction with Parkinson’s can be attributed to symptoms such as “pain, limitation of movement, fatigue, and sleep disorders – coupled with emotional challenges such as anxiety and depression – as well as medication side effects” (“Intimacy and PD”, n.d.). It is important to not feel embarrassed about any issues you may be dealing with around physical intimacy and sex, and have an open dialogue with your healthcare professional who may be able to answer questions and offer solutions.

Sexual Dysfunction and PD

Physically, women may experience loss of lubrication and men may experience erectile dysfunction (Bronner et al., 2011) because “sexual functioning is a complex process that requires functioning of the body’s autonomic, sensory and motor systems, and depends on the neurological, vascular and endocrine systems, allowing sufficient blood supply to and from genital organs, a balanced hormonal system and a healthy emotional state” (Verschuren et al., 2010).

Mentally, there are influencing factors like a person’s self-esteem, religious background, closeness with their romantic partner, and life experiences (Verschuren et al., 2010).

The symptoms of Parkinson’s can cause many issues around sexual dysfunction. Statistics show that “one out of every six people with PD taking a dopamine agonist drug will [also] develop compulsive behaviors” (“Intimacy and PD”, 2010).

These behaviors (i.e. impulse control disorders) can include hoarding, shopping, gambling, and hypersexuality. Many people with Parkinson’s also experience a loss of sexual desire and overall dissatisfaction with their intimate life.

How to Maintain Emotional Wellbeing

There are many things one can do to maintain their emotional wellbeing, if they find themselves struggling with different issues in their life, including sex and physical intimacy with a partner.

• Get quality sleep each night: If you are constantly tired/fatigued and running on empty it will be hard for you to concentrate throughout the day and be productive. Make sure you create a regular schedule for yourself on when you rise and go to bed – eliminate blue lights from technology a few hours before bed and create an enjoyable nighttime routine to motivate you to get your sleep.
• Socialize: It is important to maintain and nurture friendships and meaningful connections outside of your romantic relationship. Do your best to enjoy your time with friends, have good conversations, laugh, try new things, share a meal, or do a mutually-enjoyed shared activity.
• Develop coping skills and resilience: Stress and unfortunate situations are normal things to arise from time to time. Make sure you have healthy ways of coping with your emotions, such as journaling, talking to a trusted friend, meditation, spiritual practice, asking for professional help if needed, etc.
• Discover yourself: With the busyness of everyday life, oftentimes we put making time for fun on the back burner. What did you enjoy doing as a child that you would like to do again? What is something creative you’ve wanted to try just for the sake of trying it and pure enjoyment? Developing hobbies is important because they give you something to look forward to and a meaningful way to spend your time. Maybe you want to try your hand at watercolour painting, origami, writing a short story, or watching nature documentaries – the possibilities are endless.

Tips courtesy of: https://www.nih.gov/health-information/emotional-wellness-toolkit

In conclusion, issues around intimacy should be treated with care, compassion, and open communication between partners. If troubles with physical intimacy are distressing, please consult a healthcare professional for a personalized treatment plan. Counselling is also available through Parkinson Society BC. You can contact us by email at info@parkinson.bc.ca or by phone at 604-662-3240 and 1-800-668-3330.

This content was published in the February 2023 edition of our monthly support group newsletter, GroupLink. The content was accurate as of this publication date.