Fostering Sexual Intimacy
Your doctor tells you that you have Parkinson’s disease. "Any questions?" they ask. You ask several, all except for one you're too timid to bring up: "What about sex?" Approximately 50% of men and women with Parkinson’s disease will experience some form of intimacy and sexual problems*. You are not alone with the symptoms and you are definitely not alone if you have difficulty talking about it.
Parkinson’s does not have to put an end to your love life. Though the disease is different for everyone, here are five tips to keep in mind:
Find information and support. Don't be embarrassed to ask your doctor about the sexual implications of Parkinson’s and the sexual effects of your medications. They no doubt have heard the questions before. Next, search the internet: sexual effects of (blank), then list your medications. You may get different answers. But you'll come away with a useful overview.
Be flexible. If you define "sex" as just intercourse, and can no longer do that, you might think that your sex life is history. But if your definition of sex is more flexible, then bidding farewell to intercourse is like passing up one dish at a huge buffet. Even if you can't have intercourse, there are many ways to enjoy physical intimacy, fulfilling lovemaking and orgasm. Men don't need erections to climax. Satisfying sex is based on leisurely, playful whole-body massage. Even those in the later stages of Parkinson’s can often kiss, cuddle, receive massage and other forms of sexual pleasure, and perhaps provide it. Focus not on your disabilities, but on your abilities. Where there's a will, there's a way.
Stay as healthy as possible. "How can I be healthy?" you ask, "I have Parkinson’s disease." Yes, you do. But you'll feel better, have an easier time managing your symptoms, and retain more sexual interest and ability if your lifestyle is as healthy as possible, so check with your doctor and come up with a plan that will help you maintain a healthy lifestyle. Here are some points to consider:
- If you smoke, quit.
- Don't drink more than two alcoholic drinks per day.
- Eat at least five servings of fruits and vegetables a day.
- Within your abilities, strive for regular moderate exercise, ideally, 20 to 30 minutes a day.
- Try to get at least seven hours of sleep a night.
- Look after your mental health. Depression affects at least half of people with Parkinson’s and it can rob you of your interest in sex and other activities you would normally find enjoyable. If you are depressed, or suspect you might be, speak to your doctor. Depression is treatable!
Look for new opportunities. Having Parkinson’s means grieving the loss of things you can no longer do, among them, how you had sex. But if you stop there, you wind up depressed — and depression kills libido and erotic enjoyment. As time passes, look for new opportunities for fun and personal growth — including new approaches to making love. If you feel comfortable, explore sexual accessories. Try a few; you may discover they enhance your intimate experience with your partner. You can find them at adult shops or various online sites.
Consider sex therapy. Sex therapists are psychotherapists with advanced training in sexual issues. They discuss your situation, suggest ways you can enjoy sex and assign erotic "homework." The process typically takes a few months of weekly appointments, and studies show that two-thirds of people who consult sex therapists report significant benefit.
Sources
Research conducted by Gila Bronner and David B. Vodusek. The full study can be found here: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3229252
Article adapted from www.aarp.org.
This content was published in the Fall 2014 edition of our quarterly magazine, Viewpoints. The content was accurate as of this publication date.